thinking out loud: ...yeah, i'm not done yet

Friday, May 27

...yeah, i'm not done yet

There seem to be all these lists of things that MUST BE DONE in order to BUILD PLATFORM and BECOME ATTRACTIVE TO AGENTS AND PUBLISHERS.

I choose to believe that the best thing is to write a good fucking story, and write it well. The good news is that, occasionally, a sane voice calls out from the publishing ether and says exactly the same fucking thing.

If I write the story I wanted to write, if it’s as good as I can make it, then that’s success. Any other definition has to be considered suspect. Selling books is mostly a crapshoot anyway. It’s bingo, at least if you’re talking about Rowling-like sales. We need to get over it and live in the real world.

Don't get me wrong - I’ll be happier than a pig in shit if I can pay bills off of royalties one day. That’s the dream, something I hope for but is largely beyond my control. In the mean time, I’ll be only`as happy as a pig in shit just to write the stories, even if the only people that read them are the ones that I talk to directly or e-mail regularly.

Seems to me that following a whole bunch of other people’s lists and ideas on how to succeed at being original is more than slightly oxymoronic. Seems to me that originality is found off the beaten path.

The life inversion was/is about not keeping score in the standard ways anyway. It was/is supposed to be the opposite of that. The inversion is about letting go of all of those social measurements, all that cultural bullshit, and just being, just loving the process, just living the adventure, just writing and telling the story as honestly as I can.

I was listening to CBC radio the other day and Jion Gomeshi asked Chris Murphy of the Sloans what he thought of the great reviews their latest disc was getting, perhaps the best in their twenty-year career. Murphy said, “We don’t pay attention. If we did, we’d have to believe the bad ones too.”

So I’ll keep score in other ways, like I said a couple weeks ago: by how many days I spend in flip flops instead of suits and ties; by how often I can write something that breaks through my own sense of cool; by how honest and vulnerable I can be in front of the keyboard; by how uncomfortable I can be hitting “publish”; by how “wrong” an action is according to the lists and rule books.

That’s what being an artist is supposed to be about, right? Rebellion? Counter-culture? Targeted subversive behavior? Punk rock and revolution? Isn’t it? Isn't it?

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jseew 37p · 722 weeks ago

Oh, Michael. How I love keeping score "by how often I can write something that breaks through my own sense of cool; by how honest and vulnerable I can be in front of the keyboard; by how uncomfortable I can be hitting “publish”; by how “wrong” an action is according to the lists and rule books."

That is the most important part of what we do.

1 reply · active 722 weeks ago

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tolthinkfree 66p · 722 weeks ago

Agreed, completely. The ways our culture keeps score are messed up. Regardless of what we're doing with our lives, the score should be whether we're more aware, stronger, more compassionate, more whole at the end of the journey. Everything else is window dressing at best, a disabling distraction at worst.

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melissawolfe 13p · 722 weeks ago

"originality is found off the beaten track". Like this a lot. I think it's also found in really listening to yourself as you talk about. This post really got me thinking. Not necessarily in relation to writing or even being an artist, but in relation to how we live our lives. I always get a bit fixated on where I have strayed to an other path, and yet that's where we find ourselves. I find it so hard to tune out the other voices and standards (across so many different things) that I can't hear myself and there's nothing more empty than finding that you tick the box but don't agree with the criteria. I'm going off on a tangent though... Really enjoyed this post :)

1 reply · active 722 weeks ago

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tolthinkfree 66p · 722 weeks ago

I love the idea that we find ourselves most often and most honestly when we're lost. One of the things that appeals to me about being alone, with intention and consistency, is that we are at our most authentic when nobody is looking. But, yeah, it's hard (practically impossible?) to not be influenced in some way by the cultures around us. If I had a dime for every time I disappoint myself, I wouldn't need to worry about money. Ever. ;)

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mooderino 19p · 722 weeks ago

While i agree with what you're saying, and it's fine that they do their thing and you do your thing, the problem comes when they're thing involves them trying to do everything they can to stop your thing. I mean things like paying book stores to put their books in the big displays at the front, leaving no room for yours. It's that sort of mentality, where they can dominate the market, and still cry foul when anyone impinges on their rights, that makes for an unbalanced playing field, don't you think?

mood
@mooderino
My recent post 5 Necessary Online Tools For The Frugal Writer

3 replies · active 722 weeks ago

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tolthinkfree 66p · 722 weeks ago

I hear what your saying. Nobody ever promised me that the word would be fair though. At least not that I remember. I can only really be responsible or my choices, my actions, yeah? If that's the way the system works, then the best thing I can do may be to succeed by "their" measure while abjuring "their" rules and tricks, at least the ones that I have a problem with.

But I also don't really believe in "them" and "us" paradigms. We're in this together. If we want the industry to be more egalitarian and less bottom-line oriented, then I guess it's up to us to change it.

And besides, some of the very best stories are about the underdog sticking to their guns and winning. Or even more poignant, sticking to their guns and "losing", but doing so with more integrity than "they" will ever dream of. I love that shit... :)

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mooderino 19p · 722 weeks ago

While it's fine if some people have an advantage over others, some BBall players are taller etc, I don't think it's right for different rules to apply to different players in the game. Plus the people with things in their favour make a big deal about how fair everything is. Plus they break even their own very generous rules. And while the occasional David beats Goliath, most get crushed underfoot and no one bats an eyelid. And it's all very slickly done so even poor people end up voting for the oligarchs. I don't like it, Michael, and I intend to do something about it.

Not really, just going to play video games instead.

mood
http://moodywriting.blogspot.com
@mooderino
My recent post Chapter One- Fight Club

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tolthinkfree 66p · 722 weeks ago

Still preaching to the choir! So what are we gonna do about it? Project Mayhem time?

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giulietta nardone · 722 weeks ago

Michael,

Of course, I love this rebelliousness. Don't go along with the program because it's the program that sucks.

I still believe if you write something good, it will get picked up. The other scenario implies that you can write bad stuff and it can turn into a best seller if you've created this "platform" (what the hell it that anyway, really?)

Folks talk about authenticity out there, then follow each other towards the cliff. I see it all cycling back because eventually they'll be so many "platforms" that they'll all be screaming in the echo chamber and the publishers won't be able to distinguish between them. Especially, if the platformees learned their platform-building skills from the same group of folks.

Hey albums came back ...
My recent post Can we remove the Cone of Silence- please

1 reply · active 722 weeks ago

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tolthinkfree 66p · 722 weeks ago

I like the idea that if it's good, someone will pick it up. I'm not sure it's true all the time though, and even if it were, financial success is still as much a matter of luck and timing as anything else. There are tons of gifted, brilliant writers out there struggling to make ends meet. The cause and effect relationship between blazing talent and commercial success is spurious at best.

To be clear, I make no claims to possess blazing talent, more's the shame.

I agree completely that the platform building zombie crusade will only dilute the wine and provide a new obscurity. I think of the massive NHL expansion in the 70's and how it almost ruined the sport util the NHL embraced European players. Or, maybe, all that sameness will only make it easier for the gems to be spotted...

Yeah, sometimes I'm an optimist against all my inclinations. ;)

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Patricia · 722 weeks ago

How many writers have become 'known' because of the Giller Prize they (somehow) were in contention for? People who have not sold well can at least sell one if they become advertised. I say lets go rob a bank or sumtin... :P

1 reply · active 722 weeks ago

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tolthinkfree 66p · 722 weeks ago

Bank robbery? Sounds like a lot of work... ;)